Archive for the How-Tos Category

How to Survive on Island After Plane Crash – How to Do Toilet

Posted in How-Tos on 01/05/2011 by Mark

Since you cannot just go toilet anywhere, even on an island by yourself, you will have to do your stuff in certain areas you have designated for doing stuff.

You may think that digging a hole & doing your stuff in the hole is good enough, but after several years you will find your self running into your old stuff everywhere. Digging every time to need to go toilet will also strain you physically. You’ll end up ruining your digestion & end up digging every 15 minutes, becoming a cycle of bad gas pains.

Since you live on a tropical island & maybe volcanic, let’s learn how to make a seismic toilet. Seismic toilets are good because the constant seismic activity will regularly dispose of your stuff.

Let’s start with the simple 2-plank.

Last, here are some alternatives to toilet paper.


How to Survive on Island After Plane Crash – Shelter & Clothing

Posted in How-Tos on 12/29/2010 by Mark

Shelter & clothing are extremely helpful in keeping you from dying by yourself stranded on an island after plane crash.

Just because your island is tropical, that doesn’t mean you don’t need to wear clothes & find shelter. You will need to protect yourself from intense heat, strong winds & frequent storms… & SODOMITES!

Here are some ways to find or build your own shelter.

After getting plane wrecked on the island, your clothes will start to tatter, & you will need to come up with some substitue for them.

How much you are protected by these varied weather conditions & sodomy will be determined by what type of clothes you choose & what materials are used. Be focused & know your shit when making/choosing clothes.

Here is a simple clothes catalog which we hope will be of use to you if this whole survival thing is new to you.

How to Survive on Island After Plane Crash – How to Food

Posted in How-Tos on 12/14/2010 by Mark

Food is very important in order to stay alive. Eating food will keep you strong & lack of it will cause you to get weak or die.

If you eat too much you will become gross.

Did you know that chicken is vital to tissue growth & regeneration?

SNICKER bars can be easily found on some trees– but be careful! Eating too much could put your health in jeopardy.

Airliner logos may make useful fishing accessories.

How to Survive on an Island by Yourself After Plane Crash

Posted in How-Tos with tags on 11/27/2010 by Mark

In order to survive being stranded on an island by yourself, you need to be able to improvise & do things you normally wouldn’t have to do in your normal life–like taking cold showers & skipping coffee.

There are several things you must have in order to live by yourself on an island after an airplane crash by yourself.

1. Water

You cannot live for 2 hours without water!

2. Food

There is no McDonalds on an island by yourself. You will have to produce your own food by hunting/fishing or harvesting or stealing.

3. Shelter & Clothing

You will need to build adequate shelter & come up with some kind of convincing costume for protection & to make sure you look smart.

4. Toilet

This is the 21st century. Even on an island nowadays you can’t get away with doing your business in random non-designated places.

5. Fire

You will need to learn how to build a fire without the use of a oxyacetylene torch. We will teach you how to use an ordinary lighter such as a Zippo to build a fire big enough to burn the whole jungle down!

6. Protection

On an island, after plane crash, it is inevitable that you will encounter at least 1 kind of wild beast. If you watch movies, you will see that there is always at least one untamed beast trying to kill the main character. But do not be alarmed, the beast never kills the main guy, or his girl… only the actors with supporting roles like Steve Buschemi.

7. Amusement

You will eventually become a good fisherman like Tom Hanks in Cast Away BUT… there is a possibility you might get bored on an island by yourself. You will need something fun to keep you entertained.

8. Company

Everyone needs a companion… & not every plane crash produces a Wilson Volleyball. We will teach you how to solve this problem.


Water is very vital to your staying alive. You will probably need to find water as soon as you reach the island. Sea water will make you sick so don’t drink it.

Roughly 60% of your body is made out of water, that’s is why freeze-drying your dead carcase makes your weight drop down to one-third, but it is not recommended as an alternative means of dieting.


Here are some fun & easy ways to make your own potable water.

Well, stay tuned for next week! We will go on to the topic of food!